


i have lost my way

by elizabethgetout



Series: where do we begin, the rubble or our sins?(mcyt mc au) [1]
Category: Dream SMP - Fandom, Sleepy Bois Inc
Genre: Alternate Universe - Realistic Minecraft, Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Family Bonding, Family Dynamics, Fluff and Angst, Found Family, Hurt/Comfort, Minor mentions of violence/death, Phil has wings, Philza Minecraft is very old, Trust Issues, im not even kidding hes aeons old in this, the bois are on a quest
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2021-03-22
Updated: 2021-03-22
Packaged: 2021-03-27 14:42:26
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 5,873
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/30124383
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/elizabethgetout/pseuds/elizabethgetout
Summary: Phil has lived for aeons. He's seen civilizations fall, wars waged and cities crumbled. He’s watched the beginning and downfalls of nations, and watched thousands of lives being lost to the hands of time. Phil knows not to get attached to mortals. He’ll just outlive them, there's no use getting to know them and spending time with them and becoming attached to a life that will eventually be snuffed out. But on his quest to defeat an old enemy, his opinions on mortals may just change as he recruits people to help him on his quest.or: Phil is on a quest. Technoblade is protecting his people. Wilbur is on the run. Tommy is looking for an adventure. They’ve never trusted others before, never had a real family, but they may just find one as they come together to do the unthinkable.
Relationships: Dave | Technoblade & Phil Watson, Dave | Technoblade & Wilbur Soot & TommyInnit & Phil Watson, No Romantic Relationship(s), found family - Relationship
Series: where do we begin, the rubble or our sins?(mcyt mc au) [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2216964
Kudos: 8





	i have lost my way

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> this was born from me manifesting sbi family fluff, because omfg if we aren't deprived of sbi content in the dsmp. enjoy this fluff and character studies that i use as a coping mechanism from the pain that the dsmp creates
> 
> cw // blood, death, mild mentioning of vomit, implications of abuse towards the end

When the dust finally settled upon the broken city, there was nothing left.

Bodies were strewn across the once beautiful landscape, slumped against walls or sprawled on the floor or having fallen off the edge into the endless void. Red was everywhere, god, there was _so_ much red. The city’s purples and pale yellows were now masked by the red, the blood of the people that once inhabited it.

The giant, dark sleek body of the monster disappeared just as soon as it came, destroying the city and killing thousands, every last inhabitant, sparing no person, no man, nor woman, nor child safe from her deadly reign of terror.

Yet Phil was alive.

Why was Phil alive?

He let out choked sobs as he dragged himself from body to body, desperately crying and praying to the gods that someone was alive, that they hadn’t all left him. He saw old comrades and friends who had built and protected the city alongside him for years. He saw children who had just been running around hours earlier, testing out their wings and playing with their friends. He saw the bravest warriors who had defended their city for ages against the beast.

Why had it all of a sudden decided to kill them all? They posed no threat to the beast. The two species lived in harmony. Yet the beast had destroyed them in one fell swoop with no reason, and was no doubt on her way to destroy another city somewhere off in the distance.

Phil’s mouth tasted of iron and bile. He had seen so much death he was going to be sick. He did in fact retch a couple times, ignoring the blood in his vomit. He had cried himself dry by this point, no more tears falling down his cheeks. His wings were heavy on his back, broken and torn from the destruction of the city, too far beyond fixing and now a burden on his shoulders, alongside the deaths of all his fallen comrades.

His legs eventually gave out on him and he crumbled to the ground, curling in on himself and sobbing, even though no tears fell down his face. His chest ached and his heart was broken.

Phil wanted to die. He wished the god of death would come and take him now. Being left on the world without his friends and family was horribly worse than death. To be left alive, while the people he loved were gone, was a fate worse than death.

Phil laid there in agony for what felt like hours.

When he heard his name being called, he was certain he was dead.

***

Phil knew something was wrong as soon as he saw the enderman.

He hadn't seen an enderman in centuries, milleniums even. Yet here one was, right in front of him.

They had changed a lot since when Phil had lived peacefully alongside them. Now they had pointed ears and had grown taller, and they seemed to give off a purple glow.

Phil watched carefully, hand hovering over the hilt of his blade as he watched the enderman. It milled about for a minute, inspecting the ground. Then it reached its clawed hands down and scooped up a large handful of earth. Then it walked a couple meters and set it down again, then kept walking. Phil furrowed his brow and followed silently behind, watching, waiting, and inspecting the behaviors of the enderman.

Every now and then it would remove something—A brick from a house, a window pane, a fence post—And moved it a couple meters away. A minor inconvenience, but the enderman seemed proud of itself and it’s work. Phil had never heard of endermen moving things around, but then again, he'd never seen an enderman in the overworld before.

When the enderman wandered into a small dead end between two houses, Phil followed and cornered it. It noticed the dead end, then turned around to walk out. It’s heterochromatic eyes widened when it saw Phil and his unsheathed blade.

“What are you doing here?” Phil asked, raising his sword to the neck of the enderman. It backed away from the blade, but Phil advanced on it.

“I-- I don’t-- _Please_ , I don’t mean any trouble.” The enderman stammered out in a younger voice than Phil expected. “I don’t know what you’re talking about.”

Phil sighed. He didn’t like repeating himself. “What are you doing here, in the overworld? Endermen can’t leave the end.”

The enderman looked between Phil and his sword for a moment, as if debating to answer or not. Phil pushed the sword closer to it’s neck—It yelped and backed up, it’s back pressing against the brick wall behind it.

“Answer the question.”

The endermen gulped and quickly nodded. “Wh-- What do you wanna know?”

Phil audibly groaned at the denseness of this enderman. “I wanna know if the fucking portal is open. Did someone open the portal? How did they find it?”

The enderman considered Phil for a moment. “Portal? I don’t know of any portal between the end and the overworld.”

Phil furrowed his brow even more. “Then how are you here?”

The enderman lifted a pointed finger and lowered the tip of Phil’s sword. “I don’t exactly know. It just kinda started happening. We’ve always been able to teleport, just not between dimensions. One of my friends thought maybe it was because of the chorus fruit--”

“So the portal isn’t open?” Phil asked, sheathing his sword.

“Listen, I don’t even know what you’re talking about.” The enderman said with a shrug. “I don’t know anything about a portal.”

Phil took off his hat and ran a hand through his hair, then put the hat back on. “Thank you for your time, anyways. I’ll be going now.” Phil turned on his heel and walked off.

“Wait!” The enderman called, and Phil stopped at the edge of the alley. He put a hand on the wall and looked over his shoulder.

“Yes?”

“Are you Philza?” The enderman asked, suddenly a wide smile splitting across its face—Literally, its jaw unhinged slightly. “Like the legendary warrior?”

Phil smiled. “Yes, I am. What’s your name?”

“Ranboo.” The enderman answered a bit nervously.

“It’s nice to meet you, Ranboo. I’m sorry for pointing my sword at you, you seem like a good kid.” Phil turned to leave, but he was once more called back.

“Wait! You said something about a portal, between the end and the overworld, or something. What are you going to do?” Ranboo asked curiously. Phil admired that about the enderman.

He turned to look at Ranboo, a serious and stern expression on his face. “I’m going to do something I should have done a long time ago.”

“Well, here’s every book we have about the end!” Niki voiced cheerily, setting a stack of books in front of Phil, a cloud of dust flying up as she did so. She stepped back and clapped her hands, dust falling off.

“Thank you Niki, I really appreciate it.” Phil said, slipping the first book off the top of the pile and running his hands over the soft yet worn cover. He was sure he had read this book before.

“I just gotta ask, though,” Niki said, slipping a strand of pink hair behind a finned ear. “Haven’t you lived for thousands of years? Shouldn’t you know all the information in these books already?”

Phil cracked open the cover of the first one, tracing a finger over the delicate writing and reveling in the smell of books. “Well, Niki, when you’re millions of years old, some things tend to slip your mind.”

“Oh, yes, I see.” Niki said, nodding. “Well, I’ll leave you to your reading. If you need anything else, you know where to find me!” She gave him a friendly smile before disappearing between the rows of books in the library. There was something Phil liked about Niki that he couldn’t place. He wondered if it was that she reminded him of someone he knew aeons ago, or possibly a queen from thousands of years ago. Whatever the reason, she was a kind girl, but Phil knew better than to get attached to mortals.

Phil stayed up for hours reading the material in the books Niki provided him with. He stayed even as the few other inhabitants of the library left sleepily to return to their homes and rest for the night, or to go out and keep watch for the mobs. When the sky darkened outside Niki walked over to Phil and wordlessly set down a lamp so he could read, then walked off to dust shelves or sort books.

Most of the information in the books Phil already knew—Hell, he helped write some of these books. But it was a pleasant refresher. Most of his days he spent repressing the memories he had of the end. The last time he had entered that horrid realm was millenias ago, and he had sealed the portal—The only way between the dimensions. Or so he thought.

Somehow the endermen had found a way between the two worlds. He didn’t know how, even though he desperately wanted to. If people found a way to harness the endermen’s new found powers, they were in for one hell storm. While humans normally traveled between the nether and the overworld, the worst that could happen was a piglin patrol ending up in the overworld and causing a ruckus, or a wither skeleton ruining the crops, or a blaze setting things on fire before burning itself out. But if they opened up the portal to the end, that was a nightmare they couldn’t escape from.

Phil was even more worried when he found notes scribbled on the pages about the end and the portal, the writer obviously wanting to find the portal and activate it.

Phil was determined to go to whatever lengths possible to make sure that didn’t happen. Even if it meant doing the unthinkable.

Phil closed the last book and suppressed a yawn. He returned the books to Niki and set off on the first mission of his quest—To go to the nether.

Phil had been to the nether before, many times. He’d gone to collect resources, to break up fights between species, or to banish the deadliest of creatures to the deepest depths of hell. But never has he been to the nether under these high of stakes.

The sole reason Phil had used ender pearls to craft the portal and then to destroy it was so that no one could ever open it again—They’d have to go to the end to get the pearls, and there was no way of doing that without opening the portal. But now that endermen could freely travel between the two realms, there was no stopping humans from opening up the portal and releasing the horrors within. So, Phil had to do it first. And to do that, he needed blaze rods.

Phil didn’t like to kill things, but it was practically impossible to find blaze rods from trading stalls or even wandering traders he came upon every now and then. They were one of the most rare and dangerous commodities, especially in the potion brewing business. So he was headed to the nether with the intention to kill.

The village he had been staying in thankfully had a nether portal, so he wouldn’t have to go through the hassle of making one himself. He entered the portal and immediately was overcome with just how hot and humid the nether was. The entire landscape was made up of dull reds and bright oranges, and the only light was from the small patches of glowstone here and there or the slow flowing lava. Phil carefully made his way around as he unfolded his map of the nether, and navigated to the nearest fortress. For a normal human it would be a long trek across the desolate and dangerous landscape, but for Phil, he simply lifted his wings and flew whenever he felt tired of walking or didn’t feel like building a bridge across a lake of lava.

He landed on a nearby ledge when he spotted the castle of murky nether brick. He rolled up his map and put it away, and cautiously approached the fortress.

But before he could even step foot inside, the ground shook as someone jumped down and stood in front of him, stopping him from entering. The person was much taller than Phil, and cast a shadow over him. After a quick glance Phil realized it was a piglin, specifically a piglin brute. From the dark blackstone armor it bore to the tusks presenting an obvious overbite.

_”You are not supposed to be here. Your kind is not welcome.”_

Phil smiled up at the piglin, whose grip was firm but steady on the netherrack carved trident at its side.

_”I formally request to be let into the fortress.”_

The piglin’s obsidian black eyes widened as it’s grip loosened on the trident.

_”H-How--”_ The piglin stammered, but Phil only cocked his head slightly. _”How do you know Pigspeak? Humans don’t know Pigspeak.”_

Phil sighed. _”Well, you see_ mate,” Phil unfolded a wing from underneath his baby blue cape, a contrast to the red landscape around him. The piglin stumbled back as Phil unfolded a lilac wing. _”I’m not exactly human.”_

The piglin’s eyes were wide for a moment, and it took a couple steps forward, examining Phil’s wings.

_”An elytrian? I thought they went extinct ages ago.”_

Phil sighed as he straightened his posture and folded his wing before the piglin could touch a hoofed finger to them. _”They did. Well, all except for me.”_

The piglin mirrored him and stood up straight, and once again Phil realized how much height it had on him. _”Well, what makes you special enough to be the only survivor?”_

Phil found himself smirking up at the piglin. _”I like the way you think, _mate._ But unfortunately I don’t have all the time in the world right now. So, since I’m not a human, may I please be let in?”_ Phil smiled his best smile at the piglin. 

The piglin stammered, seemingly not knowing how to respond to Phil.

Phil sighed, a wing twitching against his back. _”I’m not going to steal anything, if that’s what you’re wondering. I know you piglins are sort of obsessed with your inventory and all that. You can follow me if you want, just to keep an eye on me. I just need some blaze rods, ‘s all.”_

The piglin considered him for a moment, and Phil was almost ready for it to tell him no and Phil would have to draw his sword, even though he was not ready for a fight. Even though immortality caused his outward appearance not to age, Phil could have sworn his bones were as frail and brittle as glass.

But then the piglin sighed. _”I suppose we could arrange something like that. But if you try anything-”_ The piglin lowered the tip of its trident to the same level as Phil’s forehead, the largest spike inches away from his skull. _”I will not hesitate to strike you down and end your species, once and for all.”_

Phil found himself smiling at the piglin’s not-so-friendly threat, deciding now was probably not appropriate to tell the piglin that he was immortal.

_”How very kind of you to say that.”_ Phil extended a gloved hand outwards. _”The name’s Philza.”_

The piglin brute looked him up and down for a moment, before shaking his hand with a firm grip. _”Technoblade. Follow me.”_

Technoblade the piglin brute led Phil through the nether fortress. Phil was quite glad to have a guide, seeing as this place was more of a maze than a fortress. He wondered how the piglins even navigated through this mass of red brick and magma, but then again they were sworn protectors of the fortresses, so maybe they had it memorized from birth.

Every now and then they would pass a wither skeleton or a stray magma cube and Phil was sure they were about to fight— But all the mobs inside seemed to be afraid of the piglin brute. They kept a safe distance and eyed Phil warily, as if they thought he was being led to his death. But Phil was deciding to put his trust into this piglin. He had learned from countless books piglins were loyal and true to their word. And if that didn’t happen to be the case, Phil would not hesitate to send the piglin back to the deepest depths of hell.

Eventually after going down at least seven flights of stairs and up twelve and down many twisting corridors, they finally got to the blaze spawner. Technoblade stopped in the doorway and Phil stepped forward before glancing back at the piglin, who just gave him a blank stare in response. So Phil stepped forward and climbed the small inclination.

In the middle of the small enclosed platform was a grate with a burning fire inside that rotated and pressed against the bars. The nether brick floor had small piles of blaze dust and dead cinders here and there, but nothing else was in the room besides the spawner. This small room was much warmer than the rest of the nether fortress.

The first blaze appeared, slipping out between the rods of the spawner and floating up, its lucrative blaze rods spinning around it’s body as its charcoal black eyes scowled at Phil.

Phil drew his sword with a certain precision one could only hope to master after years of training.

Phil moved with precision and care, his blade arcing through the air and colliding with impact every single time on its target— Every so often a small _clink!_ could be heard as blaze rods delicately dropped to the ground, nothing else left of the blazes but a bit of dust as they get sent back to the depths.

Not once during this excursion does Technoblade move. He doesn’t move an inch or make a move to help Phil or even so much as breathe. He simply watches, as if he’s waiting for Phil to mess up and watch as he burns to death. Or maybe he’s studying Phil’s methods of sword fighting, studying and looking for any point of weakness. Phil wouldn’t be surprised.

After Phil had gotten a sufficient amount of blaze rods, he sheathed his sword and walked down the steps to the piglin, the blaze rods safely stored in a hidden pouch in his cape. Technoblade looked Phil up and down for a moment. Phil could have sworn that for the tiniest moment, a small smile tugged at the piglin’s lip.

As Technoblade led him once again through the fortress, Phil couldn’t help but notice that he hadn’t seen another piglin yet. Every now and then he caught a glimpse of a wither skeleton or a ghast through cracks on the bricks, but no other piglins. It seemed Technoblade was the only one.

_”Where are all the other piglins?”_ Phil found himself asking aloud, albeit wanting to break the awkward silence between him and the piglin brute.

_”It is in your best interest not to ask questions, Philza.”_ Technoblade answered curtly.

_”Alright.”_ Phil responded, blowing a tuft of his hair out of his face. _”I’m curious—Do you have the layout of the fortress memorized? How do you navigate it so easily?”_ Phil knew piglins don't live forever, they eventually died and were reborn with new memories. So how did they navigate the nether fortresses so easily?

_”You get used to it after being here so long.”_ Technoblade responded with a shrug. _”Tell me, Philza, what is it like in the overworld?”_

Phil was a bit startled by the suddenness of the question. _”Aw, well, it’s a lot less red.”_

_”Less red.”_ Technoblade echoed with a nod.

_”And-- er-- it’s a lot less warm. And things actually grow.”_

_”Like what?”_

_”Well, there’s trees, and...”_ Phil stopped and furrowed his brow. The pigspeak word for flowers had completely slipped his mind. It had been awhile since he had spoken in pigspeak, so he was a bit rusty. _”Um, the little... Y’know, the things that grow from the ground.”_

Technoblade turned to face him, raising an eyebrow. _”Fungus?”_

_”No, no the-- The, y’know--”_ Phil made a gesture with his hands of plucking a flower and pulling off the petals, but that just made the piglin look even more perplexed. Phil exasperatedly let his hands fall to his sides. “Flowers, I meant flowers.” Phil finally gave up and spoke in english.

The piglin blinked a couple times. _”What?”_

It took Phil a moment to realize, but then it clicked.

_”Oh, do you not understand english?”_ Phil asked as they continued to walk through the fortress again.

_”No? Why would I want to learn english? All humans have done is cause trouble here.”_ Technoblade practically spat.

_”I guess that’s a fair point,_ mate.” 

Technoblade scrunched up his nose. _”Why do you keep using that word?_ Mate? _What does it mean?”_

_”Oh, well, it means-- Acquaintance, or friend, I guess.”_

The piglin hummed, a low scratchy noise and there was quiet for a moment. “Mate.” Technoblade echoed quietly, and Phil couldn’t help but smile.

Not long after they had reached the exit to the nether fortress. Phil was preparing himself for his travel back to the portal, stretching his wings and double checking his supplies, when the piglin brute spoke up again.

_”Tell me, Philza, what is your goal with these blaze rods?”_ Phil turned to the brute, who had cocked his head slightly in curiosity. _”It is not everyday a traveler comes through here and successfully enters and obtains blaze rods. What makes you different? What is your goal?”_

Phil smiled and folded his arms behind his back. _”I quite like your curiosity, Technoblade. But I am afraid that it is in your best interest not to ask questions.”_ Phil watched and waited for any sign of hostility or anger at his choice of words— But instead, a smug smile made its way across the brute’s face.

_Very fair, Philza. Nevertheless, I shall offer to accompany you to the portal back to your world.”_ Technoblade stood tall and stoic, one arm behind his back and the other holding his trident steadily. Phil raised an eyebrow.

_”And why would you do that? I’m sure I can make my way just fine.”_

Technoblade’s gaze wandered off to the distance, where a group of hoglins fought, charging at each other and clashing their horns and steam coming from their nostrils. _”To keep you safe from the dangers of the nether. It is very dangerous if you don’t know your way around. And, piglins are known for their devout loyalty.”_ Technoblade turned back to Phil, and for the first time, Phil began to see the piglin as _more_ than just a tool for his adventure.

Sure, Phil could traverse the desolate landscape of the nether easily with his wings. But he’d been on his own for so long. It wouldn’t be too bad if he found someone else to accompany him on his quest, right?

Phil wondered if maybe Technoblade’s proposition wasn’t about the loyalty of piglins after all. Phil wondered if maybe it was because of that dark, lonely fortress. Maybe it was because he hadn’t left the fortress in years. Maybe it was because Technoblade was the only piglin for miles. Maybe, Technoblade was lonely.

Just like Phil.

Phil found himself smiling. _”Of course, mate. I’d be delighted to have some company.”_

Phil didn’t miss the way the piglin’s onyx black eyes seemed to light up and the way his shoulders relaxed a bit, before the piglin caught himself and cleared his throat. _”Very well then. If you will follow me then, Philza. It shouldn’t take very long to get to the portal.”_ As Technoblade began to stalk off in the direction of the portal, Phil could not stop himself from grinning ear to ear. He didn’t know why, and maybe that was okay.

It really didn’t take long to get to the portal with Technoblade leading the way. Phil had expected to run into a lot of dangerous fire creatures or a large uncrossable pit, but Technoblade seemed to know his way around traversing the nether. Phil noticed that mobs seemed to leave him alone as soon as they saw the piglin brute with him. Phil wondered if Technoblade had a reputation in the nether making mobs fear him and stay out of his way. Phil knew the nether was a tortuous and dangerous place to live in, and knew there was constant competition for resources between anyone inhabiting the barren region.

Phil discovered Technoblade was a very good conversationalist. Even though there was a bit of a language barrier due to Phil being rusty in pigspeak, they still got on well and Phil realized he really enjoyed the piglin’s company.

When they got to the nether portal, Phil felt a pang of sadness go through him when he realized it meant that this was goodbye, that Phil would have to continue on his quest— _Alone_ —and Technoblade would have to go back to the nether fortress.

Phil looked through the swirling purple particles of the gateway, the entrance back to the overworld. Phil looked from the portal to the piglin next to him, and he had a crazy idea.

_”Aren’t you going to go in?”_ Technoblade asked.

_”Well, I was actually wondering if you wanted to come with me.”_ Phil asked, curious to see Technoblade’s reaction and answer.

Technoblade’s eyes widened and he took a step backward. _”To the overworld?”_

_”Yes.”_

_”With... Humans?”_

_”You don’t have to, if you don’t want to.”_ Phil said, his wings shuffling against his back. _”It was just an invitation. Forgive me if this seems rude, but it doesn’t seem very... friendly, in the nether. I’m going on a quest to the end, and you are more than welcome to join me.”_

Phil waited patiently for the piglin’s response. He could see Technoblade considering it and going over all the pros and cons in his head. Phil would absolutely not be offended if he said no, seeing as he knew humans were not the kindest towards piglins. But in the short time they had shared, Technoblade had grown on Phil. Phil didn’t exactly know; He didn’t let many people in. Yet this piglin brute had slipped in past the walls he had set up in his heart, and Phil was already growing soft for him.

The piglin then looked back to Phil, expression unreadable. _”I guess-- I shall accompany you on your journey, if you are true and honest about your intentions.”_

Warmth grew in Phil’s chest just from Technoblade’s strangely phrased answer, and he tried to stop himself from smiling widely.

_”Very well!”_ He turned back to the portal. _”It feels a bit weird the first time going through, I’m assuming you’ve never been through a portal before?”_ Technoblade shook his head as he stood next to Phil and began bracing himself for the travel through the portal. _”Er-- Do you-- Sometimes holding someone’s hand makes it easier, if you want--”_ Phil outstretched a gloved hand to Technoblade, who immediately wrinkled his nose, so Phil brought his hand back to his side.

Phil began to count down and watched through his peripheral vision as Technoblade both physically and mentally prepared himself to enter the portal.

And on the count of three, they both stepped through.

Technoblade surprisingly made it through the portal perfectly. Sometimes people fell to the floor or got an upset stomach, but Technoblade did not seem phased to the least. Phil did discover that in the overworld, piglins got cold easily. Phil assumed that since they were so accustomed to the hot climates of the nether, the cool breezes and lower temperatures of the overworld led to them getting cold quickly.

In favor of the piglin’s health, Phil shed his light blue cape and threw it over Technoblade’s shoulders to keep him from the cold. Technoblade tried to protest and tell him he was fine, but Phil would not hear it. Technoblade asked him what he would wear, seeing as the cape hid his wing from sight. Phil told Technoblade he would find a better cape for him, seeing as the cape was tailored for Phil’s height and not Technoblade’s.

After the first few nights of them traveling together, Phil had stayed up one night to make Technoblade a new coat. He bought some fine red and white wool from a shepherd and began stitching together a new cape. He insulated it with multiple layers to make sure the piglin was warm.

The next morning when Technoblade woke up Phil presented him with the new cape— Technoblade was quiet for awhile, just staring at it in awe and running his hooved fingers over the soft cloth. He had a bit of trouble verbalizing his thanks, but Phil could tell he was grateful from the way he carefully slung it over his own shoulders and made sure to keep it as clean as possible. Phil thought it looked good on him, and was extremely proud of himself that Technoblade liked it.

After a while Phil asked Technoblade if he wanted Phil to teach him english. It was true, they got some weird looks in public from communicating in pigspeak, and Phil believed it would be easier if he taught Technoblade english, and then he could also talk to other people, and not just Phil. Technoblade was a bit hesitant at first, but then he opened up to the idea.

They started off easy, Phil translating simple words and having Technoblade repeat them. Sometimes after a long day of traveling, they would sit down in an inn or at their camp and would read a book together. Every day Phil could see Technoblade progressing more and more with his english and reading abilities, and slowly he was able to hold a simple conversation in english.

A new development was that Technoblade had become protective over Phil. There was one time they were traveling through a forest during the night, and a baby zombie had appeared out of nowhere, and Technoblade had shouted at Phil to stay back and that he would protect him. Phil couldn’t hold back his laughter when Technoblade presented him with the head of the baby zombie and was entranced when Phil placed it in his ender chest for safe keeping.

It was the same night when Technoblade’s cape got torn up after Technoblade’s first encounter with a wolf. Phil told him not to worry and began stitching it up, Technoblade watching him off to the side, watching as Phil carefully and fondly stitched up every little tear. It wasn’t long before Phil invited Technoblade to sit next to him and show him how to sew. It was hard for Technoblade to figure out how to hold a needle and thread and his hands were a bit shaky, but Phil said with some time he’d be a pro at sewing.

Phil had also decided that the name _Technoblade_ was too long, and had shortened it to just _Techno_. He explained it was a nickname, and that humans gave them to their friends, and that they were usually shortened versions of names or a funny take on them. Techno had seemed very excited about receiving a nickname after Phil explained it.

It would definitely take longer to get to the portal with two people, one of which couldn't fly. It was already a long journey—Phil had designed it that way, putting the portal as far away from civilization as possible. But Phil didn’t really seem to mind having to get double the resources or travel over foot now. He enjoyed Techno’s company, and teaching him all about the overworld.

Techno was the perfect addition to Phil’s life.

***

Techno still distinctly remembers his childhood growing up in the nether.

He remembers the roaring of the crowd. He remembers his fists colliding with walls, skulls, jaws, coming back caked in dust and blood. He remembers greedy humans eyeing him as if he was a monster, a tool meant for destruction. He remembers having to fight for his survival, at the cost of other people’s lives. He remembers desperately trying to protect his only home, and ending countless lives in the process.

Technoblade was always considered a monster, a mutilation, a freak of nature. Normal piglins were bad enough, but a piglin hybrid? Technoblade was never meant to exist. Piglins and humans were never supposed to interbreed, Technoblade’s mere existence a good example of why. He had more human features than he wanted. Humans had only ever caused trouble, wreaked havoc and chaos and ruined what little life he had.

A long time ago when Technoblade was young, humans had invaded the nether and decided to take advantage of it. What little peace that had existed prior to their taking over had completely disappeared. Piglin fighting was a big money making scheme for many human criminals and vigilantes—Taking the finest of piglins and forcing them to fight and betting on the winner with large amounts of gold. Technoblade was a prime choice for the piglin fighting business, seeing as he was young and unassuming. No one knew what to expect from a young, scrawny piglin-human hybrid.

People expected him to die. Technoblade cowered in the pit when he was in it the first time, humans shouting at him from all angles and the other piglin across from him in the bottom of the arena, eyeing him as if he was not another piglin, but instead a piece of meat.

Technoblade did what he had to to survive.

From that very first day, Technoblade has developed a pure, unalienable hatred towards humans.

Humans were the reason his mother was killed. Humans were the reason he had horrible memories of the pit. Humans were the cause of all the bad things that had happened to him, why he had scars, why he had raging PTSD, why he had been forced to mow down thousands, why he was used as a weapon.

But Phil wasn’t human. Phil wasn’t anything like Technoblade had expected. Over his years of retirement at the nether fortress, the few humans he had seen that had somehow made their way to the fortress were greedy and only thought of themselves. But Phil was thoughtful and kind, and determined. From what little Technoblade knew about the man’s quest, he knew it was not just for Phil, but for the greater good of the four realms.

Technoblade had never become close to another person since his mother died. Technoblade had learned not to trust anyone but himself. Yet he found himself becoming closer to Phil and trusting him more. Technoblade wondered if he could start over here with Phil.

Technoblade felt that finally he could let his guard down around someone. Technoblade had never trusted anyone before, but maybe that could change now.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> thank you so much for reading! this is my first sbi story, so i hope it's okay! i love the sbi community on ao3, i have read so many amazing stories that have inspired this fic! i hope this story lives up to the reputation of the sbi fics on here
> 
> if you enjoyed this story, please consider leaving a kudos and/or a comment! it really helps me out and encourages me to keep going
> 
> <3


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